Something old, something new, and something Blue

And so ends my week at a National Broadsheet. I wish I could say I made the most of my time there, but I was feeling the effects of my recent operation. However, by fortunate occurrence, my central location did allow me to explore the sights, thus here you see me outside the Tower of London with the Shard in the background (the EU’s tallest building until the twin towers in Hermitage Plaza in Paris take over in 2016, “that’S hard luck”).  

Aside from the obvious attractions of the area, I rapidly became disillusioned with the accuracy of the press when one employee referred to me as ‘Lou’. I was quick to point out that my name is Blue, a fact that should be apparent by my colour. What self respecting bag is called ‘lou’ anyway?

I wish I could say that this was an isolated incident, alas I am constantly referred to by an improper proper noun. I received an email on Friday asking me to confirm my attendance for a placement at my local paper. This email was bizarrely addressed to ‘Amelia’. Yet again I felt that the accuracy of the press had been called into question.

Being a bag I am asexual, in fact sex, as a way to differentiate between bags, is never used for the simple point that gender doesn’t exist. We tend to individualise ourselves by colour, brand, material, size and strength. If further differentiation is needed we use our names and sandwich preferences (in wider social circles I am known as ‘Blue the plain, sky-blue, plastic, vest-style carrier of average strength with a preference for ham, cucumber and crisp sandwiches’. You may be surprised to hear that I am not the only bag with this name!)

With this in mind you can imagine how strange I found it to receive such a femininely addressed email. I immediately responded by correcting the email with my actual name ‘Blue’. I can honestly say that my confidence at dealing with situations such as these has increased. Gone are the days that I happily answered to ‘Stu’ for two weeks before correcting the individual! Now I take affirmative action. Unfortunately the message didn’t seem to have sunk in for the individual who emailed me. She explained that she had used a ‘template email’ and had forgotten to change the name. She finished quite appropriately with ‘Sorry Bluke’...